Cosplayed: A Sweet Lesbian Romance Page 9

  Everyone laughed and cheered. They kept doing it just long enough that I had to clap my hands again to make sure they got to work. It’s not like all this stuff was going to take care of itself, after all.

  Once they were all off doing their thing I sank down into one of the free folding chairs. I’d been so focused on giving all of them something to do that I hadn’t left anything for me to do. That was probably a good thing though. We had a half hour until the dealer hall opened and I needed some time to sit down and veg out. Really forget about all the bullshit that had happened yesterday.

  I really hoped I didn’t make any more slips like I did with Natalie just a minute ago. I still couldn’t believe all that. That I’d actually caught her. That she’d tried to act like it was all my fault. The bitch. If I…

  “Having fun staring off into space?”

  I shook my head and looked up at Cassie. I smiled. “As a matter of fact I was until you so rudely interrupted me.”

  “Well it’s a good thing I did. You need to be up and at’em soon. The hall opened a couple of minutes ago and people are streaming in.”

  I blinked. I glanced around the dealer hall and sure enough the place was already starting to fill with a ridiculous Saturday crowd. Even early in the morning it looked like more people than had been here at the height of traffic yesterday when there were still people at work so the crowd was thinner.

  “Damn. I just spaced out for a half hour thinking about how much I hated Natalie,” I muttered.

  “I can see where that would be tempting, but it’d be nice if you came back to reality for a little while,” Cassie said. “We’ll need our leader, after all. Besides, I’m pretty sure I saw one of your distractions making her way over here when I was on my way back.”

  I frowned. “What are you talking about? Is Natalie…”

  But Cassie wasn’t giving anything away. She put a finger to her lips and grinned. “Spoilers.”

  “Seriously Cassie,” I said. “I don’t have time for this stuff. What are you…”

  Someone cleared her throat behind me. Not Natalie. I’d recognize Natalie’s sounds anywhere. There was only one other distraction I could think of who would be standing behind me clearing her throat, though, and I almost didn’t want to turn around. If I turned around then there was a chance it wouldn’t be Hailey, and the ridiculous hope that flared inside me would be all for nothing.

  I turned around, not daring to hope that it could actually be here. My heart leapt when I saw Hailey standing there with an uncertain smile on her face. As though she wasn’t even sure if she should be standing there.

  Given how I’d acted yesterday I could totally see where she might be a little hesitant to even talk to me.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi yourself,” I replied. I grinned. I couldn’t help it. It was ridiculous after everything that happened, but I was so happy and relieved to see her standing there. It meant that I hadn’t chased her off with my bullshit. I hadn’t scared her away by blowing up at Natalie while she was standing right in front of me in that hotel room.

  I was so relieved to see her there, even if I had no idea why she’d be standing there. Not after everything that happened. I needed to apologize for the way I’d acted. For being such a jerk.

  The only problem with that plan was that she beat me to it. She opened her mouth, took a deep breath, and the words tumbled out of her mouth.

  “So listen, I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but after everything that happened yesterday I had to come by here and at least talk to you for a minute. I wanted to apologize for everything that happened.”

  I blinked. Okay then. I guess she was going to beat me to the punch and apologize before I got a chance to apologize. I guess that was okay as long as we were getting everything out in the open. Not quite what I was expecting, and I wondered why she felt like she needed to apologize since it was obviously Natalie who’d pulled all the bullshit yesterday. Still, it was a conversation starter that didn’t involve her yelling at me for being such a jerk.

  That was one reason why I worked so hard to be so nice to everyone around me. I knew what I was capable of when I really got mad so I worked overtime to be sweet and nice and to keep everything under control.

  There was no need for that now, though. I was so relieved to see Hailey standing there. So happy that she’d come to see me, even if it was for a bullshit apology that I didn’t quite deserve considering how I’d acted.

  I opened my mouth and then realized I had no idea how to respond to all that. What did I say? That I had a major crush on her? That I was the jerk? That she didn’t need to apologize? That I wanted to go up to my hotel room with her and have the world’s most intense makeout session?

  Stupid short-circuiting brain not knowing what to say at the right moment!

  11: Apology

  Hailey:

  Something was supposed to happen now. I got my apology out and she was supposed to either tell me to fuck off or embrace me in a big hug and tell me everything was going to be okay and all was forgiven. What I hadn’t expected was for Zoey to stand there looking absolutely flummoxed as though she didn’t know what to say.

  Damn.

  Well I’d already taken the initiative of coming out here to apologize to her. I figured I might as well continue to be a little daring. Fortune favors the bold and all that, though I hadn’t been all that bold in my dating life lately.

  Maybe that was part of the problem. I was feeling a little bold now, though, for whatever reason. Maybe it was being at a convention where I was surrounded by my people and I didn’t feel like the awkward dorkasaurus that I was when I was at school. Maybe it was the confidence boost that I got from seeing everybody staring at me in my costume.

  Whatever it was, I did something that was very out of character for me. I reached out and touched her hand even as a part of me was screaming that this was a terrible idea and it was all going to end in tears.

  I tried to ignore that voice. It was hard after listening to it for so long, but somehow I managed. Barely.

  Zoey’s reaction was immediate. She jumped as though she’d been hit by a live wire. She looked up at me and for a moment her expression was unreadable. The voice telling me this would all end in tears grew louder. I’d gone too far. She didn’t like this. It was all going to come crashing down around me and she was going to start screaming at me the same as she’d been screaming at her girlfriend yesterday.

  Even with all those fears running through me I couldn’t help but look around one more time for any sign of Natalie. I didn’t see her skulking around the booth anywhere. I really hoped that meant she’d gone from girlfriend to ex-girlfriend last night.

  Finally Zoey smiled. I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe this wasn’t going to end in total disaster.

  “Y’know I should hate you right about now,” she said. “After all, you were all alone up in that hotel room with my ex yesterday.”

  Well then. Talk about a couple of sentences that sent me on a roller coaster. She should hate me. That wasn’t good. I didn’t want her to hate me. I wanted her to like me. I very much wanted her to like me, damn it. Then there was that bit about the whole ex-girlfriend thing. That was promising. Ex-girlfriend meant she was on the market, though it was probably too soon to be thinking about that sort of thing.

  Stupid. I was thinking with the brain between my legs. I needed to stop doing that. It was going to get me in trouble. That sort of thinking got me in trouble yesterday when I went to that fishy party invite. All because I thought Zoey might be there.

  “So you hate me?” I asked, dreading the answer.

  Zoey sighed. Shook her head and then locked eyes with me. That was an intense gaze. The sort of look that made me want to take a step back. Except I felt like I was glued to the spot. Taking a step back meant I’d lose the oh-so-distracting contact of her hand, and I wasn’t going to do that.

  This might be the only time I got t
o touch her like that, and I was going to hold onto that moment for as long as I could.

  “I can’t be that mad at you,” Zoey said after a pause. “After all, I have a feeling Natalie probably got you up there by lying through her teeth and from the way she was begging you when I walked through the door it didn’t seem like you were exactly going along with her or anything.”

  Another relieved sigh. She didn’t blame me. At least not entirely. Though I still felt like I needed to clear a few things up. After all, I didn’t think any of the blame should fall on me. I was as much a victim of that crazy girl as Zoey was.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” I said, and then the words started spilling out. I wanted to be vindicated, damn it, even if I was kind of falling all over myself. “She invited me up there saying your group was having a party or something and I’d never been to a real convention party before and it was with people who were into the same thing I was. Then I got there and it was just her and she was all over me even when I told her I wasn’t interested and suddenly you were standing there looking pissed off which really pissed me off because the whole reason I went to the party in the first place is because I thought I’d get another chance to talk to you!”

  I took a deep breath and winced. Did I really just let all that word vomit spill out? Not only that, but did I really just tell her that the only reason I went to that party in the first place was because I thought I’d see her? I was acting like an idiot. An idiot with a crush.

  I darted my eyes up to Zoey, wondering how she’d react. For a surprise she was laughing and shaking her head.

  “That sounds just like Natalie,” Zoey said. “Y’know I really have to thank you. I’ve suspected she was doing something like that for a long time now, but it took yesterday and seeing her alone in the room with you to finally get the proof. Proof I never would’ve gotten if I wasn’t so…”

  Zoey stopped and shut her mouth. A blush came to her cheeks and now she was the one looking away from me.

  “If you weren’t so… what?” I asked, suddenly very curious what she was so embarrassed to say.

  “Jealous,” Zoey whispered.

  “Jealous of me with your girlfriend?” I asked. I was confused. How could she be jealous that I was going up to a hotel room with her girlfriend if she didn’t even know that we were in a hotel room together until she walked in on us?

  “She was jealous that Natalie was up there alone in that room with you doofus,” a girl said as she walked past with a pile of papers. She was dressed in a Battle Gear Angel Squad costume that looked pretty similar to the one Zoey was wearing. Zoey turned around and fixed the girl with a look that was the embodiment of the phrase “if looks could kill,” but by then the girl was on the other side of the booth pointedly ignoring both of us.

  “You were jealous that your girlfriend was hitting on me?” I asked. I felt butterflies rising in my stomach. Could it be that this girl was interested in me? Like really interested in me? The thought was full of possibilities, and I liked it in a way that I hadn’t liked her girlfriend hitting on me.

  Funny how that worked.

  “Look, the point is I knew Natalie has been stepping out on me for awhile now even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Seeing her with you yesterday finally gave me the push I needed to figure out for sure that she was a cheating piece of shit.”

  “Um, glad I could help?” I said.

  “Yeah, you did help,” Zoey said. Our hands were still together. Odd. I’d been so caught up in our conversation that I hadn’t realized we were still making that contact. Yet there was a strange warmth running through my body from the point where we held that contact. I shivered. I didn’t want that contact to end, even if I knew that it had to soon enough.

  “It does feel weird though,” Zoey said.

  “What does?”

  “Being single,” she said. “I’ve been with Natalie so long that I don’t know what to do with myself now.”

  Her eyes darted to me. Maybe I was imagining things, but it seemed like they ran up and down my body in a quick look. I shivered again. If that look meant what I thought it did then she had a few ideas of what she could do now that she was single. That or I was just indulging in the world’s worst case of wishful thinking ever.

  “Right, well I’m still sorry about everything that happened. I’m sorry I was the reason you guys broke up,” I said. I felt like my nose was going to start growing at any time because that was one hell of a lie. “I know that means I probably can’t be part of you group now so…”

  I honestly didn’t know what to say after that. I’d come over here and apologized and Zoey didn’t bite my head off which I figured was a good thing. She’d heavily insinuated that she might be into me which was a very good thing, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to make a move. To seal the deal, as Jake would say.

  It felt so wrong even if I knew it was right. She just got out of a relationship with another girl. I barely knew her. I’d seen that scary side of her where she was yelling at her ex-girlfriend and it hadn’t been pretty even if she was very pretty otherwise.

  Yeah, there were a lot of good reasons to not say anything. So instead I did an awkward little nod that was more cringeworthy than anything I’d ever done back in middle school when it felt like just about everything I did was cringeworthy and turned to walk off. I could’ve kicked myself as I walked off.

  Pretty girl hitting on me. I should talk to pretty girl. See if pretty girl wanted to go out sometime. See if pretty girl had the same sign as me or something even though I didn’t go much for all that astrological bullshit.

  Instead I was walking away. Like the awkward dateless person I was. I deserved this. I hated myself. I wanted to turn around but couldn’t bring myself to for some reason.

  Honestly, what was I expecting? I’d been caught in the middle of some Jerry Springer level drama getting stuck in between those two girls. If I thought she was going to run up and say she wanted to take me out on a hot date then I had another thing coming. That was the sort of thing that only happened in cheesy romance movies or novels, and even then it only happened to straight people.

  No, I was going to do what I always did. Walk away from something that might be good because I was afraid. The self loathing was going to reach epic levels by the time I got to the dealer hall exit, because there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to stick around here and risk running into Zoey again after pulling that level of awkward. I might not even emerge from my hotel room for the rest of the weekend the way things were going.

  I really needed to find Jake. I didn’t want to deal with him checking me out in my costume armor, but at the same time I really needed a familiar face right about now and he was my friend after all.

  Damn it. Why did I have to be such a spaz?

  12: Accepted

  Zoey:

  Well that was rather… abrupt. One moment we’d been chatting and I thought things were going pretty well between us. The next moment she’d wheeled around and she was heading towards the entrance to the dealer hall as though she couldn’t get there fast enough.

  Fuck. And I thought things were going so well, too.

  I’m not sure why I was thinking that though. I mean she’d come to apologize but after seeing me blowing up at Natalie yesterday it was hardly surprising that she wouldn’t want anything to do with me. She’d seen the part of me that was the big reason why I always tried to be so nice to people.

  As an ex had once told me long ago: “you get scary angry sometimes Zoey.”

  I closed my eyes and tried to count to ten. It was something that was supposed to help with those moments when I got “scary angry.” It was something I’d done for as far back as I could remember, and it helped sometimes.

  Not that it helped much now. I was so furious with Natalie. I was still furious at her for cheating on me, of course, but in this moment more than anything I was furious with her for reaching out of the past and ruining any chance I
might have with this girl in the present.

  “Well that went really well, didn’t it?” Cassie asked.

  I jumped. Wheeled around and pointed a finger at her. “I’ve told you not to do that to me. You know I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!”

  Cassie shrugged. Obviously that wasn’t her problem. “What am I supposed to do? Wear a bell or something so you can hear me over the sound of all the people at the convention? No thanks.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just upset about…”

  I trailed off. I wasn’t sure how to even broach the subject. I’d been with Natalie for so long that it still felt like a betrayal to even think about getting with another girl. Of course that only caused a bit of anger to come rising up once more. Natalie sure hadn’t felt bad about thinking about getting with another girl, after all.

  “Seriously, what’s wrong?” Cassie said. “Upset about that girl getting away?”

  “Why should I feel guilty about being into another girl?” I asked. “Natalie didn’t feel guilty at all, but every time I think about even talking with someone new I get this feeling like I’m cheating on her.”

  “You probably feel that way because you’re a good person and Natalie was a cheating piece of shit, and had been a cheating piece of shit for awhile,” Cassie said. “Everyone knew it. You knew it. It just took you a little while to admit it to yourself.”

  “Don’t pull any punches or anything Cass,” I said. “Not like I’m in an emotionally vulnerable state or anything here.”

  Cassie shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like you need anyone sugarcoating anything right about now. What you need is some truth.”

  “Like the truth that Natalie was cheating on me? Why didn’t you tell me what was going on when that was happening?”

  “We did try to tell you a couple of times, Zoey,” Cassie said with a frustrated roll of her eyes. “We told you at every con that you needed to break up with her already. Don’t get mad at us because you weren’t ready to listen to the truth.”