Just Friends: A Sweet Lesbian Romance Read online

  "So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I asked as we made our way out.

  "Savannah," a deep voice said.

  I turned and blinked. I recognized pastor Dan from the Baptist Church out on the edge of town. The man who organized the protest of the equating the library’s romance novels with porn a few years back. That caused quite a stir well before I was the head librarian. I'd wondered how long it would be before I tangled with him. I figured it was only a matter of time.

  I just never imagined that I would be tangling with him over Savannah, but from the way she looked away from him, from the way he glared at her, it seemed pretty obvious he was one of those people who had given her a hard time. One of the people she'd been referring to earlier.

  My eyes narrowed. At the same time I felt guilty because I felt a thrill of excitement running through me. There were only a few things that could upset pastor Dan. The first was the library protest and his crazy idea that we were somehow trying to corrupt the youth of the community by stocking romance novels that kids couldn’t even check out. Even back when I hadn't lived here I'd followed everything going on at the library pretty closely, never imagining that I would actually be running the place someday.

  The other thing that got his knickers in a twist, though, was far more near and dear to my heart. Pastor Dan wasn't a fan of the gays. Not at all. Almost rabidly so. I known that even when I was younger. I'd known to avoid him. Not that I had much occasion to be around him in the first place aside from the times the schools would let youth pastors come in during our lunch breaks which I was pretty sure broke some laws but I’d never poked that bear.

  And suddenly everything clicked. I felt pissed off. I wondered what the hell this man had done to Savannah even as a guilty part of me was excited because that might mean I actually had a chance with her.

  Talk about your all time fucked up emotions.

  "And what are you doing with this young lady, Savannah? Not up to your old tricks, I hope."

  He smiled, but that smile never reached his eyes. It was the sort of smile I imagined on a shark right before it chomped down on a delicious fish. Oh yeah, he smelled blood in the water and that had me seeing red.

  Savannah shrank away. She seemed to be falling in on herself. The beautiful woman who was so confident, even if she did blush and look away whenever she looked at me, was disappearing right in front of me. It was like watching a beautiful flower wilting, and I hated it.

  "Hey, I've got an idea," I said.

  Pastor Dan and Savannah both turned to look at me. Savannah looked mortified, and pastor Dan looked surprised.

  "Can I help you young lady? I certainly hope you're not getting too personal with Savannah here."

  "What I do with whoever I want is none of your damned business. Haven't you heard? You assholes are losing the culture wars. Why don't you do us all a favor and go back to your church where you can actually intimidate someone with your bullshit?”

  He blinked. His face turned red and then purple, but then he glanced around the diner. At all the nice people sitting down and having a nice lunch.

  Immediately the smile was back on his face. A smile on a snake. I remembered a couple of passages in the Bible talking about how the devil would be able to put on a pretty face when he wanted to, and never had I seen an example of that more than pastor Dan right in front of me.

  But he wasn't going to make a scene. Not here. Not and give up the friendly nice guy routine he'd built up.

  "Perhaps now isn’t the time to get into this," he said.

  "Yeah, perhaps never is the time to get into it. Go and abuse people on your own time, asshole."

  That purple hue came back to his face for a moment, and I felt like a first-rate bitch, but at the same time I figured it was the least he deserved. I know what he'd done to kids before, whether or not they were actually gay. Not that they deserved trouble from him either way. He was a holy roller that steamrolled anyone who got in his path.

  I took Savannah by the arm and led her out of the diner. As we walked she seemed to gain some confidence back. I hoped she took some of that confidence from me. I smiled as I thought of that. It wasn't very often that I got to confront a hater face-to-face like that, though I imagine I'd just gone a hell of a long way towards revealing my big secret. The one that I didn't want spreading around town.

  Oops.

  But it was worth it to see the way Savannah tucked a piece of hair away from her eyes and smiled hesitantly at me. God that was a beautiful smile.

  "You didn't have to do that," she said.

  I shook my head. "Yeah, I kind of did have to do that. Assholes like him are going to go right on being assholes unless somebody calls them on it."

  "Confronting him like that is only going to make him want to come after you."

  "He can bring it on," I said with a confidence that I didn't quite feel. But I was putting on a show for Savannah. Making sure she was okay. I figured I should be strong for her after what I just did.

  "So where to now?" Savannah asked. "Back to the library?"

  I looked down at my watch and then back up to Savannah. Smiled.

  "I've actually got plenty of time before I'm supposed to be back to work. What would you say to going for a walk in Taft Park? It's only a block away."

  Savannah smiled. "That sounds nice."

  I figured it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was away from the library for a little longer. Besides, considering how much unpaid overtime I worked for the place it seemed only fair that I should take a little of that back. After all, what was the point of being the boss lady if you didn't get to abuse your power a little bit from time to time?

  We walked along. It really was a beautiful day. Not too hot, not too cold. Blue sky up above and white fluffy clouds floating by. Everything was perfect.

  I looked over to Savannah and amended that statement. Everything was almost perfect. She still looked a little reserved. A little hesitant after that run in with the infamous pastor Dan.

  "So would it help you to talk about what just happened there?" I asked.

  She shook her head and I thought for a moment that she might not go into it. After all, it really was none of my damn business. But then she turned to me and there was moisture in her eyes, though she didn't go quite so far as to cry.

  My heart went out to her in that moment. I recognized so much of how I'd been before I went off to school. Hesitant, reluctant. Terrified that someone might discover my secret. And I had a pretty good idea that Savannah was hiding the same sort of secret that I'd been hiding back then.

  That I was still hiding today, really.

  Sure going off on my own had put some backbone in me, but I also understood that everyone reacted differently. I could understand where being confronted with a very nasty specter from your past would be enough to send you back to that past when you weren't as strong as you might be in the here and now. More than anything I could understand not wanting to rock the boat around these here parts, because wasn’t that exactly what I was doing?

  I smiled. Maybe I should have her confront the library board on my behalf since I’d confronted pastor Dan on hers.

  "Pastor Dan is an asshole," she said.

  I barked out a laugh. "You're not telling me anything I don't already know. Is there a reason in particular why he's such an asshole to you?"

  I was probing, and I figured she would figure that out, but she went right on.

  "Let's just say that we ran into some trouble with each other a few years ago."

  "I really have a hard time imagining you causing any sort of trouble that would get you in trouble. What was he upset about?"

  We reached the park and moved over to a gazebo in the center. Birds chirped all around us and it really was an idyllic setting. It was the kind of thing that almost made me think small-town life was worth it. If only I hadn't just run into a shining example of why small-town life drove me nuts.

  Then again, there were asshol
es everywhere.

  "I was in sort of a relationship with someone in his youth group, and he really didn't approve of it when he found out," she said.

  My eyes narrowed. This was getting more and more suspicious. I decided to get devious, though I wasn’t sure if it would actually work.

  "That's tough. What was her name?"

  "Megan," Savannah said.

  And then her hand went to her mouth. She looked horrified. Her eyes went wide and she had the mother of all blushes spreading across her face. A blush that made every other blush that had crossed her face up until now look like nothing in comparison.

  Then she turned to me and some of that embarrassment turned to anger. She reached out and smacked my shoulder.

  "You tricked me!"

  I grinned. "So what if I did? Would you be mad if it led to something good?"

  "What are you talking about?" she asked.

  I reached out and took her hand. She looked down, but she wasn't exactly surprised. Well then. Maybe I'd been giving off a vibe just as much as she had. Either way, holding her hand felt nice, and she didn't immediately rip hers away.

  I figured that was one hell of a good sign.

  "What if revealing your little secret led to something better than good? Something awesome?" I asked.

  "What did you have in mind?" she asked.

  I paused. Turned to look at our surroundings. More than anything I wanted to make sure there wasn't anybody in the area who might witness what I was about to do. Because I was about to be impulsive. Dangerously so. To the point that it would give up my secret if anyone was watching, but at the same time I sort of didn't care.

  This was a time to seize the moment if there ever was one.

  Besides, the coast appeared to be clear enough. And so I leaned in and kissed her. It was a brief kiss. Our lips brushing together for the barest of moments. Long enough for a surprised blink from Savannah and then I pulled away.

  It might look like the coast was clear, but I didn't want to tempt fate, after all.

  Savannah blinked. I waited to see how she was going to process that. I'd learned long ago to seize the moment when it came, but sometimes the moment could turn right around and slap you across the face because it wasn't interested. Which would be cool, and very understandable, even if it would also be thoroughly devastating.

  "I think I like that," Savannah said.

  I smiled. "Me too. I've been wanting to do that ever since the first time I laid eyes on you."

  She looked down, and there was another one of those blushes that was so sexy on her. She looked up and the smile on her face made her look radiant. Her hair was like a halo of fire around her face.

  "I was thinking the same thing. That was the whole reason I stared at you like an idiot when I saw you doing that story time."

  “So what would you say to going on a date sometime?” I asked.

  Savannah’s smile turned into a huge grin that set my heart aflutter and sent a tingle running up and down my body.

  “I think I’d like that.”

  Jackpot!

  8: Preparations

  I put the finishing touches on my makeup and tried to quiet the butterflies racing through my stomach. That had been running through my stomach ever since I woke up this morning and tried to go about my daily routine.

  It was really difficult to go through a daily routine when all I could think about was the hot date I had for tonight. The hot first date I had tonight. Though I suppose it wouldn't be entirely fair to call it a first date. We had been going out to lunch almost every day over the past week and a half, after all.

  Still, I figured it was close enough to a first date. It was the first time we’d be going out in the evening. The first time we wouldn't be surrounded by other people.

  Those butterflies started again. I felt weak in the knees. It was incredible how just thinking of a kiss, a stolen moment away from prying eyes, could do that to me. I reflected on how ridiculous it was that I’d find something so close to home after I'd resigned myself to never finding it at all.

  Talk about crazy.

  "Well don’t you looked good," mom said.

  I turned to her and smiled. And the butterflies mixed with just a little bit of guilt. I told her I was going on a date, it was impossible to hide that with the way I was obviously getting ready, but I was playing the pronoun game. I hadn't actually mentioned it was a girl I was going out with.

  I had no plans to mention that, either.

  "Thanks mom," I said. "But you're supposed to say that."

  "No really. Whoever this mysterious person is, you're going to knock them dead!"

  I paused as I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't the only one playing the pronoun game. I glanced over at my mom who still beamed at me. And I wondered if maybe she knew something. She could be perceptive at times. Dangerously so, as I'd learned much to my chagrin back in the day when I tried to get away with something and never quite succeeded.

  "So where are you planning on going tonight?" she asked.

  "Nowhere in particular. I was thinking of a picnic, actually."

  "Really? Using that old chestnut again? How did you ever manage a first date when you were off in the city and you didn't have the field to have a picnic in?"

  I blushed. She knew me too well. That had been one of my favorite things for a first date, though the guys at the time thought it was odd that I was the one planning the date. I was usually the one who did the asking too. After the incident with pastor Dan I'd been desperate to try and cover things up.

  I felt sorry for those guys. None of those relationships had lasted very long.

  "Are you going to be okay here on your own tonight?" I asked.

  Mom waved a hand. "I'll be fine. It's actually been nice not having you around the house quite as much. Lets me actually get things done. Have some time to myself. And that's something I think both of us needed."

  I still felt guilty about leaving her here on her own, but I also had to admit there was some truth to what she said.

  "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

  I turned to her and smiled. And to my surprise she enveloped me in a huge hug.

  "What's this for?" I asked.

  "I just want you to know that I want you to be happy. If you're happy then I'm happy, no matter what."

  I felt lightheaded. I felt a tingling in my scalp that was similar to the feeling I got when I saw Kirsten. Similar, but not quite the same. Once more I had the feeling that mom knew something. That she wanted me to tell her something. To let her in on the secret I was keeping.

  But I was too much of a coward to say anything. What if I was reading the situation wrong? What if she heard my secret and it drove her to the emergency room or something? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened, and so I kept my mouth shut.

  Mom pulled away from the hug and looked at me with a twinkle in her eye. A twinkle that usually meant she knew something, but she wasn't saying anything. I turned back to the mirror.

  "You should probably get back to whatever it was you were doing," I said.

  Mom sighed. "Right. I know, you need to get ready."

  "Thanks mom," I said, though I wasn't sure what I was thanking her for.

  I finished up and moved down to the kitchen where I’d dug out an old picnic basket that had been around the house for as long as I remembered. I wasn't even sure who originally bought the thing.

  I was surprised to see that there were already sandwiches and a nice meal in the thing. I smiled. Apparently mom had been busy in here before she came up to bother me. I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of being loved. I felt that she would love me no matter what, and once more I turned towards the living room where she sat watching TV and almost I said something.

  But again I chickened out. Again I decided not to say anything. Besides, I was already running late. I'd asked Kirsten to meet me at the end of our driveway. I knew exactly where I was going to take her, and I figured the
re wasn't much worry of anyone fighting us out there.

  Even mom wouldn’t see anything if I took the service road back out into the fields. No, all she would see, assuming she was looking, was a car in the distance. And there wasn't a chance she was going to be able to make the walk out there in her current condition.

  I grabbed the picnic basket and stepped out into the cool evening air. Already the heat of the day was starting to dissipate. It was getting on in the summer and the days were getting shorter. It would only be another couple of weeks before we started having more cold weather.

  I was lost in thought as I made my way down the gravel drive towards the front entrance. It was a bit of a walk, but I didn't mind. Especially in this weather. Especially with the field surrounding me and the sun setting off in the distance and the sounds of home all around me.

  Sounds of a home that I really couldn't see myself leaving. Kirsten had been hard on this place, and I could understand her being hard on this place. It was a hard road for both of us, considering, but at the same time I couldn't ever see myself leaving.

  There was one thing, at least, that I could be relieved about. Kirsten was just as big on secrecy and keeping things quiet as I was. At least that was the impression I got. She might've gotten in pastor Dan's face in the diner, but beyond that she'd been remarkably low-key about everything. When we met it was entirely friendly and until we were in private.

  No, it seemed like she was just as interested in maintaining her secret as I was in maintaining mine.

  I felt a little guilty about that. I wondered if there was anything that wouldn't make me feel guilty these days, but at the same time secrecy was the only logical choice. At least it seemed like the only logical choice to me. It would be too much potential pain and heartache if the truth about the two of us got out. It was a relief that Kirsten felt the same way.

  Though we were going to be in private in one hell of a way tonight. We were going to have an entire night to ourselves, rather than a few stolen moments in her office in the library or in the park when we were pretty sure there was nobody watching.